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Is It Ever Okay to Uninvite a Wedding Guest?

Posted on June 18, 2020 at 7:50 AM Comments comments (0)

by The Knot

Life can throw a lot of lemons at you—especially during the emotionally heightened process of wedding prep—and it’s not always something you can easily turn into lemonade. Relationships can change, possibly leading to a falling out or feelings of tension between you and a friend or family member. Unforeseen events, such as natural disasters and other unexpected incidents, can unfold, leading to additional complications with guest lists. It’s rare, but every once in a while a couple (or one partner) might have to uninvite someone (or larger portions of their guest list) after they’ve already asked them to attend the wedding. But is it ever okay to even broach the topic of how to uninvite someone to a wedding?

 

Traditionally, uninviting a wedding guest who’s already received a save-the-date or wedding invitation is in poor taste. And we don’t mean that to sound snooty—it just simply isn’t kind or polite (no matter how impolite the person you want to uninvite has been). A save-the-date is essentially a promise that an official wedding invitation is on the way, and a wedding invitation isn’t something you can rescind on a whim (or that guests can transfer to one another like tickets). Here are a few things to keep in mind if you’re going through a tricky time with someone you’ve already invited.


How to Uninvite Guests Due to a Disaster

It’s now a familiar tale to many couples: Due to COVID-19, tens of thousands of couples had to postpone their weddings each weekend, ultimately leaving many to-be-weds with guest-list complications. If this situation applies to you (whether it’s a natural disaster that’s caused a venue change) or some other unexpected curveball in the wedding planning process, we recommend communicating with guests as soon as possible. If you have to uninvite large portions of your guest list, it’s better to relay it sooner than later. And remember: it’s how you communicate.

 

Be Very Thoughtful About Your Guest List

Due to general standards of wedding invitation etiquette, it’s infinitely easier to add to your guest list than it is to subtract from it. When creating your guest list, think long and hard about whom you choose to include. If budget restrictions or venue capacity are the reason you’re tempted to downsize your headcount, it’s perfectly okay to create an A list and a B list of guests. Much better to use this strategy than to overshoot on invites and have to revoke them later.

 

Have Some Foresight

Disinviting someone will make it hard to salvage your relationship—even harder than it might currently be—and will only create more drama. If you’re questioning someone’s invite, remember it might be worth grinning and bearing their attendance at your wedding in order to be able to mend your relationship down the line. And even if you might want to uninvite them in the heat of the moment, you might genuinely regret not having them around on your day.

 

Use Your Words (Preferably in Person)

Confrontation isn’t everyone’s forte, but in some circumstances, having a mature conversation about what’s going on between you two is a necessary step toward resolution. Maybe you’ve had a falling out with a friend, a fight with a cousin or skeptical feelings about a family member’s potential behavior at your wedding. Pick up the phone or knock on their door to have a frank talk about what you’re both feeling and how to proceed. If the situation is inflamed enough, it’s possible the person in question might change their mind and decide not to attend the wedding. (It might not be ideal, but in that case you’d be in the clear.)

How to Postpone a Wedding

Posted on March 19, 2020 at 7:40 AM Comments comments (0)

By Carlson Craft

 

We can only imagine how disappointing current events are for all couples getting married in the next two months. The coronavirus has turned so many things upside down, and now you’re left choosing how to move forward.

 

Should we reduce our guest count or postpone the wedding?

 

Of course, the answer depends on the couple and what they feel is most important to them as well as whether or not vendors will refund money or be flexible. Read our post from Friday called Wedding Planning: Addressing the Unexpected for some helpful tips.

 

Once you’ve decided what you want to do, the next step is communicating it. If you’re postponing your wedding, traditional wedding etiquette says to send out printed announcements but the use of technology is completely acceptable. If you choose to send announcements, you can send reception cards with the appropriate wording (see below) but make sure the announcement gets to recipients at least two weeks before the wedding date. If you choose to use email, Facebook or some other form of technology, you can use the same wording.

 

Wedding Postponement Wording

 

We are writing to inform you

 that the wedding of Anna Wilkinson and Cameron Baker

 has been moved due to recent events

 to Saturday, the eighth of October

 so we can celebrate without current restrictions

 we wish you good health

 in the coming months!

 

If you have decide to reduce your guest count, consider this wording.

 Reducing Guest Count Wording

 

We regret to inform you

 that due to current events

 the guest list for the wedding of

 Anna Wilkinson and Cameron Baker

 will be reduced to accommodate

 current recommendations from the CDC

 please know we were so excited

 to celebrate with each of you

 and hope to do so in some other fashion

 in the very near future

 until then we wish you good health

 in the coming months!

 

No doubt, this is a tough decision! Some couples may feel strongly that they want to celebrate with everyone on their list or they may find they simply can’t reschedule at the same venue within the year. Postponing is a great option for both reasons. Other couples may feel that the most important thing is simply saying their vows and they’re happy to do that with 10 people or 200. Do what’s right for you, and remember that your wedding will still be incredibly special no matter what changes may come.




Thank You Notes

Posted on January 31, 2017 at 7:15 AM Comments comments (0)

Thank you note etiquette It is always appropriate to send a hand-written thank you card when you receive a present. The basic guideline is that you should always write a thank you note anytime you receive a gift and the giver was not there to be thanked in person.


Here are some specifics:


Engagement or Bridal Shower - Even if the gift giver attended the party in your honor and you had a chance to say thank you for the gift, a hand-written thank you note should still be sent to giver.


Wedding - Within three months of when you received the wedding gift it should be acknowledged with a hand-written note. If you are delayed, better late than never is the rule. It is good practice to send a thank you note as soon as possible after a gift arrives. Even if someone just sends you a card to congratulate you on your marriage, you should send a note in return. What to write: -Be personal. -Convey genuine appreciation. -Be specific about their kindness. -Mention how you will use it or how you will think of the gift-giver each time you see / use the item.


Success = timely, hand-written, & heartfelt!

Response Cards

Posted on January 31, 2017 at 7:00 AM Comments comments (630)

For accurate reception planning, response cards are essential. The cards are printed with the date to respond by, a line for guests to fill in their names, an area for guests to indicate if they will be attending the wedding reception or not, and if necessary, entrée selections. All I Do!'s response cards include envelopes printed with your return address on them in the price. Both the response card and envelope (with a stamp that you put on the envelope before you send to your guests) are enclosed with your invitation when you send them out. Guests return cards in the self-addressed, stamped envelopes, giving you the information you need to continue your planning. Information necessary on the Response Card


1. RSVP date.

This date needs to be at least one month after the date you send out your invitations and usually 2 or 3 weeks before the wedding so you can give your caterers the final numbers and that you can work on your seating chart. It is acceptable to use just the date or to include the year. RSVP by the fifteenth of May The favor of a reply is requested by May 15, 2021 Please respond by May 15th Kindly reply by May 15th Your reply is requested by May 15, 2021 The courtesy of a reply is requested on or before May 15, 2021 Please respond on or before May 15, 2021 Kindly respond on or before May 15, 2021 The favor of a reply is requested on or before May 15, 2021


2. You need a space for your guests to write in their names so you know who is attending your wedding.

Traditionally, this is done by writing "M" and a line. The guests would write r. and Mrs. John Doe. The "r" finishes the Mr. Alternatively, you can write "Name" or "Name(s)" and a line. M________________________________ Name_____________________________ Names_____________________________ You can add a line under the names asking how many people are attending. M____________________________ Number of persons______________ M____________________________ Persons attending________________


3. You need a space for "Accept" or "Decline" The "accept" and "decline" wording is one spot on the Response Card where you can have fun and get creative.

Here are some ideas to fit your wedding.

Traditional wording

Accepts with Pleasure Declines with Regrets

Delighted to Attend Regretfully Cannot Join You

Graciously accept Respectfully decline

Joyfully accepts Regretfully declines

Accepts Regrets

Delightfully accepts Regretfully declines

So joyful to attend! Can't attend, sending joy your way

Would be delighted to accept Must regretfully decline

With bells on Will be thinking of you

Graciously Accepts _____ of ______ guests Regretfully Declines


Contemporary wording

Are pleased to join you Regretfully cannot attend

Happily accepts Cannot attend

Will be joining the celebration Will be unable to attend

Can't wait to celebrate Best wishes from afar

Can't Wait! Sorry, Wish I Could Be There

We Will See You There! Sorry To Miss Out

Excited to Celebrate with You! Sad to Miss All the Fun

I/We wouldn't miss it I/We can't make it

See you there! Sincerely regrets

Look forward to it! Have to miss the fun

Delighted to attend Sorry, can't make it

Wouldn't miss it for the world Be there in Spirit

Don't despair we will be there Sad to say we'll miss this day

Looking forward to attending Sadly have to miss it

Will celebrate in person Will celebrate in spirit

Will come for sure! Sorry, can't make it

Love to, and will Love to, but can't

Wouldn't dare to miss it! Won't be able to attend, but wish you the very best!

Shall be pleased to accept Unable to accept

Would love to come! Can't make it, sending our love

Wouldn't miss it for the world! Sending our love

Looking forward to the big day Regretfully cannot attend


Funny & Clever wording

Wouldn't Miss It For the World The World is Not Enough

Let's Get Rowdy! Show Must Go On Without Me

Aw, Yeah! Drinks on Me! I'll Be There In Spirit Free booze?

Yes, please In a nutshell I'm lame Yes we'd love to! Sorry, gone fishing

Will eat, drink, and see you be married! Will regretfully decline

Ready to party Can't come

Count me in Count me out

Let the good times roll! Roll on without me

So happy So sad

Hell yes! Oh no!

Be there Be square

Can't wait to party! Unfortunately can't join in

Deal me in Sitting out

Can't wait to party! Bummer! Can't make it

Will see you there! Raising a toast from afar

Good news, we'll be there Bad news; can't make it

Can't wait to be there Party on without us

Let's get the party started! Show must go on without me

Yes! See you there! Sorry! Love to but can't

Can't wait! Can't come!

Can't wait! Can't make it

Heck yes, can't wait to see you there Sadly no, but we have a good excuse Totally Bummer

Can't wait to be there Party on without us

Can't wait to party Bummer! Can't make it

We will see you there Sorry to miss it

Ready to dance Sorry my dance card is full

Let the good times roll Roll on without me


Destination Wedding wording

Bags Packed, Ready to Go! Hate to Say Can't Make It

Our sails are set we'll be there! Sorry, we will be docked somewhere else that day

Yes! Ready & set Sorry, with regrets Wouldn't miss it for the world!

Sending our love My bags are packed Can't find my passport

Sunscreen is packed Toasting from afar


4. Entrée preference. (If you are serving a buffet, you can skip #4.)

If you are serving a plated meal with more than one entrée option, you will need a space for your guests to indicate which meal they would like.

You can list your options and have your guest initial which entrée they are each selecting.

Please initial the Entrée choice for each guest: _____ Entrée Selection _____ Entrée Selection _____ Entrée Selection

You can list your options and have your guests place a number of how many of each entrée they are selecting.

Please indicate number of each Entrée Selection _____ Entrée Selection _____ If you are offer children's meals. _____ Entrée _____ Entrée _____ Entrée All children under X will receive a special meal